I'm dealing with Calling issues right now. It is crazy. I seem to have two, one that has been around forever and I thought I'd grow out of it (didn't) and the other that is...so crazy wacko embarrassing, but #1 is a requirement for #2. It's wigging me out. As the book I linked to pointed out, avoidance...isn't good, so I am trying to cope. I can kinda deal with #1, but dear lord, I have been trying to talk myself out of #2 and it ain't happening. Both are related to this bit about node squares. Either way, I don't know how to "get moving" on #1 and #2 is even harder and a long shot even if I get #1 up and running. So at this point I'm in the "trying to accept this" phase of life, but am unable to just "go for it" unless "go for it" involves "stumbling around in the dark and tripping." My shrink is all "It's not going away, JUST GO DO IT ALREADY AND PICK SOMETHING." Sigh.

So, the one time I went to a psychic she used these angel cards at the end of the reading when I had an extra question. Now at the time I was eye-rolling at this because I really hate angel crap*, but after looking at the deck I figured out why she used them: they are very blunt. They say yes or no beneath the syrup. They get fairly specific as to what you should be working on. Which is refreshing and actually helpful. I have been doing tarot for yonks and yonks, but god knows there is always room for interpretation and debate in a reading and you can argue that for-ev-er.. And since I am way more biased doing my own readings on certain subjects and you can't bug your friends for a neutral reading all the time, I got an angel deck. Then eventually found that two of them are online, saving me the trouble of actually finding where the deck has disappeared to in my room. So when I have some important question that I am biased about, I go check one of those.

And my readings of late...have been SUPER optimistic. And when I say this, I'm talking what flat-out sounds like wish fulfillment. Like, take your wildest daydreams of being rich and famous and married to your favorite celebrity hottie, the cards would say YES to this. I asked about what to do about money (yeah, guess how my job's going) and every time I did I got the Abundance card and other cards indicating that I should be doing the happy money dance soon (how, pray tell?). The most incredibly unlikely reading of all had the "miracle" card in it. Well, yes, indeed, that WOULD be a requirement to get that one happening. These are so crazy I'm reluctant to even say what they are exactly to anyone not my shrink (who is probably really questioning my sanity right now). I am going to go bug my craft mentor about this stuff, but man, I don't even want to admit to her the sheer wacky of #2.

I'm like this girl that I posted the link about here. I am School Of Hard Knocks Girl. Probably not as bad as the example in that one because I've got...well, I went through astro.com's personal profile clicker doodah and leaving out asteroids and such, I've got something like nine trines and eight squares, three oppositions, two sextiles. I am pretty balanced on the "shit magnet" vs. "luck magnet"-ness, I guess, but I don't count on luck carrying me through. Sometimes I'm well taken care of (Taurus), but I also try to cover my own ass because you never know.

I don't really expect to get such...sunshiny readings with the kind of luck I have.

Once upon a time I had an ex who warned me that tarot cards didn't work on him. He was right, they didn't. He'd get all kinds of sunshiny happy cards and then his life would be nothing but shit. (That pretty much describes him in a nutshell: overly optimistic and almost nothing good ever happens to him. I do wonder at the level of self-delusion going on there.) I didn't ask why this was at the time, I figured he was somehow fucked the way he tended to be in life anyway. Now I'm wondering if he just was SO optimistic during a reading that he somehow warped the cards to show a happy outcome when it wasn't going to happen for him.

And I am wondering if I am doing that. This is TOO good to be right, isn't it? Isn't it far more likely that I am crazy than for that much good stuff to happen to me? Am I subconsciously forcing the cards (over the Internet :P) to show me what I want to see and I'm really just deluding myself? Or is it a divine mystery a la this horoscope?

* honestly, people act like angels are their happy shiny twinkly fairies who watch over them while they drive to the mall. This is not how angels work, or for that matter, fairies. Also, anyone's use of that word tends to be so precious and syrupy that I about throw up.

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Good post about that here. 

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• The Dixville Notch chart.
• Astrology of election day
• Why the election is too close to call.
• "I mean it: the astrology we’re experiencing now is the closest thing to the Sixties since the Sixties, and it’s just starting — this phase lasts for about five years."
• November forecast.
• "I'm predicting a landslide...for Uranus."
• "With this kind of astrological picture, don’t be surprised to see a conservative elected to the White House that we all get to rebel against. Somebody has got to play Saturn in this equation."
• America in Transition.
• Candidate charts #1.
• "As in 2000, the moon is v/c for almost the entire election.  That means we don’t get a “real” answer to our question despite the fact that a once every fourteen years opposition between Saturn and Uranus perfects."
• Obama analysis.
• Screw who's president- how long will his term last?
  

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happening right around Dad's birthday.

Nov1chart

The conflagration of events building up right around that time...well, I will be very surprised if something DOESN'T happen around then.

Hell, my mom was all, "Hey, that hairdresser you liked? He's got appointment times on October 28," (her place of employment does his taxes), and I was nervous to book said time. I can't help but wonder when lightning is going to strike, or if I will make said appointment at all. (Great hair for the funeral?)

I actually wrote in to Gryphon Astrology for a horary question as to when he will die, and she said the wait in the queue is about three weeks at this point. So theoretically the horary will go up pretty close to That Time Of The Year. I am wondering if it will confirm my suspicions, or if by some surprise he'll look long-lived enough to make it into the new year. By that point insurance cuts us off, so I am terrified of him living that long because Mom will go broke paying the nursing home.

Too bad I didn't get up the nerve to write in earlier, because it would have been nice to know whether or not I will be able to attend classes that I would like to take this fall, and I probably won't sign up for because I'll probably miss a good chunk of time out of them.

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I just think it's a cool idea. Anyway, I'm off researching this again (beats doing the Sunday cleaning) and was reading this site and found...

In solar return figures, Henson has found that aspects, but most especially conjunctions, of the Vertex to both solar return and natal planets will frequently bring, in the year to follow, significant 'life-altering' events of the nature of the planets involved, often as expressed through their solar return houses.

Naturally, I had to check this shit out.

Solarreturn2007

And my 2007 solar return chart? Venus conjunct Vertex, baby.

Actually, this site is pretty good as well:

"We see the trine of SR Venus to SR Mars, which is a signature aspect for a romantic encounter during the year. In fact her natal Venus is also closely trine SR Mars. Her natal Moon in the 5th is, however, opposed by Uranus, showing a tumultuous situation in one romance. Neptune's input by its position on the 11th house cusp indicates the dissolution of a friendship. Lilith in the 5th is another indicator of a disruption in this area and agreement comes from the T-square between Sun, Jupiter and Mars. However, she also has her natal North Node in the SR 5th, so there's promise of a timely and destined meeting. Uranus in the 11th presents fresh new opportunities and the trine of Sun to Saturn and to Uranus suggests that a more promising and stable romance is simply delayed and may come into her life at an unexpected moment. Realizing that she'd recently entered a relationship with all the earmarks of disaster, Linda took the initiative to dissolve that romance herself, now fortified with the patience to allow a relationship with an even newer and more promising acquaintance to develop at a natural pace as she handles more serious priorities."

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So, tomorrow (right before an eclipse...oh joy), Dad gets moved forcibly into a nursing home.
The eclipse squares his Uranus, and in his sixth house of health. This isn't going to go well.

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Reading Mystic Medusa (not a permalink) and stumble across this bit:

"Saturn crossing the Asc or Dsc tends to coincide with a Significant Relationship..."

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Why didn't the predictions work?

"Even when progressed Venus hit natal Jupiter in the 7th and transiting Uranus conjoined natal Venus in the 5th—nothing happened."

"Progressed aspects reveal the inner climate and particular themes that hold potential for development during the period they activate and beyond. Nothing may have manifest when your progressed Venus (love) actually conjoined natal Jupiter (opportunity) and when your progressed Sun (self) sextiled the IC (home, family) and the Moon (emotional connection), but you are now imbued with that energy — the potential is still within you to manifest a relationship. To do so, you must truly open yourself to love."

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despite all of this potential, nothing at all happened in that arena. I guess Susan Miller was right.

Yup, I feel stoopid.

Though given that my face has been breakouttastic of late, maybe that was for the best.

The weekend in general was actually not too bad. There were a few very bad hours on Monday (household Drama), but other than that, pleasant.

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on this day. Figures.

For me, astrology is a big cross between "Hey, wouldn't it be cool if..." and then real life being brutally disappointing. So sue me, I just want stuff to exist that isn't boring-ass daily reality.

But hey, not to worry, Michael Lutin's got an explanation!

here's more dish on Jupiter Uranus
sometimes it's a little thing that develops later
other times it's a delayed event
but Jupiter Uranus is always a lucky turn
a blessing in disguise
even if you don't see it that way in the beginning
it is an unexpected twist of irony
that eventually works for your benefit
but you can't control it
or decide how or what you want it to be
It doesn't haul in Prince Charming
or Ms. Right
and it doesn't take away
all the frustration or depression, or rage
you may feel for all the things you don't have
The conjunction of Mars and the South Node
can be mighty irritating
and not just for Virgos
who are so impatient now
you should NOT get in their way
but everybody feels it
as we are moving toward a full moon eclipse in pisces
(the next week message wil be up tuesday)
you'll see how you have to let life happen to you
and by golly
it will
and not just the bad stuff either

So.

And speaking of Michael Lutin, he's got monthlies up.

TAURUS
It’s a big stretch for you, but try to be spontaneous and to include people in your life you would have once found objectionable. We’ve all got fears and prejudices that stem from death anxiety, but don’t let that interfere with your desire to do something meaningful while you’re alive.

SCORPIO
You don’t need an astrologer to tell you that you’re in a wildly creative and passionate space now, mentally and emotionally. You’re either in love or creating a masterpiece, or both. Keep in mind, however, that another obsession is money. Not that your fear of going broke would ever let you be bought..

At the moment, I can't say any of that is true. Creating a masterpiece, not so much is being done on that on any front. Certainly not in luv. And no objectionable people are hanging about. Well, maybe I'll pick up some weirdoes at Scottish Games this weekend or something. We can hope some of that starts to work out in September.

I do find it interesting when my sun and rising horoscopes seem to tie together.

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