23 posts tagged “scorpio”

Last night: three Scorpios and two Tauruses (with the same birthday!) were having a conversation. I am just amused as all hell how these signs go together sometimes. 

In other news, I WANT ONE OF THESE.

A report:

Hi, my name is Sylvan, and I'm a Scorpio.

Hi, I'm a Scorpio, and we are initiation junkies.

But as I mentioned, I am a Scorpio, and we love a good transformative experience. We crave the itch of shedding skin. We rack up frequent flier miles to the Underworld every chance we get. Sometimes I think we sabotage our own growth just for the thrill of reinventing ourselves.

Is this a good thing? Not necessarily. A great many Scorps get stuck halfway through the process and either go crazy or turn into complete bitches. Some work their way out, some just stay in the darkness and lash out--passive aggression is another of our specialties...as is serial murder, but we won't go into that.

But it does mean that we are also very powerful. So when we finally do put the full force of our Will behind change, by god, we change.

It is this regenerative power that I need desperately to harness right now.

Not my chart, but similar.

"Michele, with several planets in Leo, your Ascendant in Scorpio, and Mars in Taurus on the Descendant, you are a strong fixed-sign person. I am, too, and so I can sympathize with where you are right now.

The fixed signs - Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius - can be difficult to work with, because they are stubborn and immovable. The flip side is that they are stable, reliable, and durable. We can carry burdens that would break others. Of course, that can mean we get a heavier load in life, too.

Leo and Aquarius are being impacted heavily right now due to a series of eclipses in these two signs that began this past February and will run until August 2009. To a lesser degree, Scorpio and Taurus also are being impacted (along with Scorpio and Taurus Rising). Since you are a Rising Scorpio, you are getting hit doubly hard. I don’t doubt that you are tired. I am, too! But hang in there, because you are being offered an opportunity to transform, grow, and evolve. Unfortunately, this never happens without a certain amount of pain.

Simultaneously with the eclipses, we are experiencing an opposition of Saturn and Uranus. These two patterns don’t seem to be related, but they are linked in an indirect way. I bring this up, because Saturn currently is moving through your tenth house of career and is transiting your lunar North Node in Virgo. The North Node often indicates our “mission” in life, so I feel fairly sure that you are about to find it.

Your challenge, as I see it, is that you have a lot of “self-oriented” Leo energy in your chart, while your North Node in Virgo indicates that your life’s work is about service to others. You will have to find a balance that allows you to fully express who you are while also serving humanity."

While you are standing in the light, busy dumping all your crap on to me, I can see you real good.

In contrast, you can’t see me at all because I am standing in the dark, covered in your shit.

Well, that sums it all up for me.

Are you better off being single? (Part 3: Pluto.)

Also, there's an "honorary Scorpio" degree?!

Hello, my name is Jennifer, and I am a massive ball of Taurus/Leo/Scorp fixed sign stuff, and I CAN'T DEAL WITH CHANGE.

Let's just get that out in the open, shall we?

Here's how my day has gone. No family fighting, for once, but that's because my mom is going out of town. Local drama is going down, though.

I am in an organization that I cannot get to without assistance, as it is not located remotely near public transport. I used to get rides over with friends, who all moved out of my area. A year or so ago, I finally found someone living in my town who wanted to join the group, so I rode along with him.

For the last six months or so, I have had the impression that this fellow wanted to/was going to drop out of the group. He was having a rough time in it, he didn't exactly have spectacular attendance (and this is someone who, from my previous experience of him, is not flaky like that), and his excuses for not wanting to go got lamer and lamer. And finally, he had something bad happen to him at the last meeting that made him want to officially drop out. I can't blame him for this at all, because if I had that going on, I would drop out too.

So basically, I knew this was coming. KNEW THIS.

In the meantime, an opportunity has come up for me to join a similar group, which is located in my town and would not require me to find a ride out to meetings. (The folks in the group all have the same lack of transport issue, as far as I can tell, so they weren't joining group #1.) So I joined it, knowing that odds are I was going to have to leave group #1. I think there are enough people in the group who sound like they're permanent locals (this town has a LOT of flakes, which is why my attempts to start a local group with the people I met previously have fizzled yearly) for it to last awhile.

So technically speaking, this shouldn't be A Big Deal, right? I knew it was coming, I've had six months to get used to the idea. I've been talking about dropping out of it as a part of my future for most of that time. I've even managed to find another place for me to go to.

So why the hell do I feel like crawling under my desk and hiding, not to mention that I kind of want to go out and get drunk, now that the hammer has finally come down?

I'm sad about losing my friends in group #1, who I will see either never again or about once a year if I don't go to their turf. There is that. They're a spectacular group of people. But other than that, hell, this frees up more time in my schedule. Group #1 has "every other weeknight" meetings that make it difficult to schedule anything else on that night, and I've been trying to work around that for 2 1/2 years. Group #2 has meeting times that are more flexible, and that so far I can generally make meetings on unless I'm out of town. The folks there seem nice. There are some advantages to this.

And yet, I am still inwardly cringing and feeling sick and having a hard time trying not to feel that way. It doesn't help either that the fellow mentioned that he also got laid off from his job (we work in the same general location), which suddenly makes me feel all paranoid for myself, even though I work in one of those highly necessary areas that's about as layoff-free as anyone is likely to get in this day and age. I know it's dumb, but hearing of anyone else's makes me have flashbacks to the last recession when it was me.

I don't make changes unless they are thrust upon me, which this one was. About the only change I choose on my own are what activities to do. Somehow it doesn't bother me to choose to make a change when I decide to fill up my schedule, but to lose something from it (that doesn't have a natural ending date, but was thrust upon me) bothers the crap out of me.

I am already nervous about the fall because due to policy changes, I may be forced out of my longstanding volunteer job that I love doing. Like the above example, I have been working behind the scenes to cover my ass and find another way to work there if I'm no longer allowed to volunteer. All things considered, I've covered my ass nicely on that, so I should still be able to get all of the benefits of volunteering WHILE DOING LESS WORK (and getting paid in an imaginary way on top of that), if I am forced out. Plus it would free up another weekday night that I've had issues scheduling around for years. None of that is bad. And yet, I CRINGE at leaving volunteering too.

Hell, I'm still cringing at dropping out of a group (call it group #3) that I wanted to join and had to drop out of because it conflicted with volunteering and I couldn't find a way to make the two work.  And I'm cringing at dropping out of my weekend dance class. Mind you, (a) the class ENDED because I was the only one who hadn't dropped out of it besides the instructor, (b) the instructor has now started his own studio, and (c) the reason I am no longer taking from him is because he's moved the class from running once a weekend day to three times on weekday nights, and that kind of scheduling is just really bad for me. I didn't even choose to drop him, I just didn't re-sign up. And yet I feel TERRIBLE about that and am still trying to figure out some way to free up weeknights in order to go, though at the moment this doesn't appear to be working too well.

So. I can add, JUST DON'T SUBTRACT ME, DAMMIT.

All summer, I have been whining that I want to make some changes in my life (not scheduling ones, life goal ones). But I'm not quite unhappy enough to want to throw everything to the winds and bail. It's my heavy Saturn issues- I feel like I should have to endure and that bailing out is NOT an option. I can't just cut and run free of chains. I have to stick with whatever I am already burdened with.

If you ask Elsa, fixed signs are hopeless at this. (Or at least, that's my impression from reading this:)

Those are all fixed signs - so basically you’re not going anywhere until and unless you decide to move, which will probably take an act of God.

But even beyond that, making changes- even semi-minor ones thrust upon me- makes me feel sick.

Astro.com, on Saturn square Uranus:

This aspect may be expressed in another way, as a tension in your life between personal freedom and authority or sense of duty. One part of you is always trying to toe the line set by others, while another part wants to break free. Usually you feel that you can fulfill your obligations only by giving up personal freedom. It is difficult for you to be yourself, do what you want to do, and at the same time do what you have to do. Rebellious behavior, along with a tense and grudging acceptance of your duties, are characteristic of this aspect.

I can't say I've had much in the way of manifestation working for me this month (ugh), but today I'm thinking on these subjects and guess what gets posted on the Internet, another fixed sign person with that problem. Alas, they didn't seem to elaborate on what their problem was, so Eric theorized it was a parent issue. Whee, Moon/Saturn!

His suggestion:

I suggest you talk about all the most difficult things first, which means finding someone to talk to about them. There are probably a lot of very bright people in your circle of friends, but you have to find someone with whom you have no fear and who you know will not abuse the power you give them by divulging everything, and I do mean everything. A very open minded therapist would be a great start — preferably somebody without a Ph.D., unless of course you trust and adore that person. Whoever it is, you need to choose a therapist you want to become like, because that is basically what happens.

Hm. Well, I already do that. I just...need to go beyond that point, I think.

Heh. I just finished this, hit post, and then went on to find Roger Ebert having the same issue:

I was surprised how depressed I felt all day on July 21, when Richard and I announced we were leaving the "Ebert and Roeper" program. To be sure, our departures were voluntary. We hadn't been fired. And because of my health troubles, I hadn't appeared on the show for two years. But I advised on co-hosts, suggested movies, stayed in close communication with Don DuPree, our beloved producer-director. The show remained in my life. Now, after 33 years, it was gone--taken in a "new direction." And I was fully realizing what a large empty space it left behind.

"In a session with a client the other day, she asked me if I saw her moving any time soon.  She really wanted to move from where she was, and she was hoping that was indicated in her chart somewhere."

I hear that. Well, moving along with something in general, if not specifically the town I live in. (On my list of places to live, the town I am in is #3. That ain't bad. Especially since locations #2 and #1 are incredibly beyond expensive.)

But I do want to do...something. And I somehow absolutely cannot budge myself to do a damn thing. Oh, the joys of being doubly fixed. My poor lone Sag moon wants ouuuuuuuuut and the Taurus and Scorpio axis emphasis does not allow escape. I'm a chaos magnet, but in the last year and a half, my lightning-rod-ness has dwindled down to some degree. I'm used to lightning making decisions for me. And it seems like without being forced to because something blew up, I can't make myself do squat.

Then again, this could also be because I am also so sick of things exploding around me that I don't want to deliberately cause more unpleasant upset in my life. Then again, I'm unable to even go for PLEASANT upset.

So, what's the issue with this? Is it fixable?

Sometimes we have planetary events that clearly indicate a change is coming: for example, when transiting Uranus (radical change and innovation) crosses over the Midheaven/Nadir axis (cusp of the fourth house of home and tenth house of career).  Twice a year or so transiting Mars will cross that point, stimulating the desire for some sort of change.  But change is not always seen as just an event triggered by a planet; it is often the result of an activated Will that occurs after a longer-term cycle.

Yeah, so far this isn't panning out for me.

This client had what I like to call a "Mars Problem" in her chart, with Mars in the twelfth house, where it operates in the subconscious realms, and stressed by both Saturn (limitation and challenge) and Chiron (wounding and healing).  Mars acts as the Will of our personal self; in many ways it is our Free Will.  Mars is our desire nature; it shows how we go about getting what we want and keeping what we have and in that role it also shows how well we set boundaries and defend ourselves.  When Mars is stressed in the chart we have difficulty in all of these areas and our Free Will loses its functionality as a result.  Sometimes we can feel paralyzed, not knowing where to turn.

My Mars is hammered:

Mars Conjunct Midheaven  
Sun Square Mars  
Mars Square Ascendant  
Mars Square Uranus  
Moon Trine Mars  
Mercury Trine Mars  

Some good aspects, but enough hard ones in there probably drone that out. I can't help but think the Mars square Uranus might translate into "big changes = trouble for you." And the fact that it's on the MC and squared by the axis is not good either. Sheesh, and Saturn's not even involved in that.

In the case of my client, she was in a longer-term cycle of Uranus transiting through the tenth house which had caused her to leave her job and pursue a series of other opportunities.  She didn't feel that any of them were right for her but judged herself for wanting yet another change.  Because her Mars, her own inner direction of Free Will, was challenged in the birthchart it was difficult for her to feel safe in her choices.

We don't always get to exercise our free will, and we don't always get what we want as the Rolling Stones so aptly put it many years ago.  Sometimes our individual will (Mars) is blocked by the gods in the form of Saturn (restrictions) or Pluto (transformation) and in those cases fate takes over and all we can do is surrender.  But we still must exercise that free will or it will become atrophied and useless.

Exercising our free will and empowering our Mars is as easy as this:  Ask yourself, what is it you WANT to have happen.  And then DO IT!

*sigh*

Somehow JUST PICK AND DO IT!!!!!!!!! sounds a whole lot easier to say than to do. I can't help but think that if I make a choice and go after it, I'm just putting up the lightning rod and asking God to strike me down somehow. No wonder I can't do shit.

The upcoming solar eclipse will be landing on my MC (where the natal Mars is) on August 1. Hm. I wonder if that will help do...well, anything.

This is interesting, though it doesn't look like a permalink.

Then there's Lynn Hayes:

Lovely Venus is very active in the middle of the month, with a square to Chiron on May 17th, a sextile to Uranus and trine to Jupiter on the 18th, and a square to Neptune on the 20th. Venus usually works on us through our interpersonal relationships but can also have an effect on our internal values and possessions. In any event, we are likely to encounter new and unusual (Uranus) kinds of people that are helpful to us and help to expand our world (Jupiter). But we may be prone to idealize these situations (Neptune) in a way that forces us to revisit old wounds of the past (Chiron).
These Venus events set the stage for the Full Moon tomorrow (the 19th) which is likely to be an intense one. Not only is it the second Scorpio Full Moon in a series, but it is at the last degree of Scorpio. The 29th degree is sometimes called the "anaretic" degree, or the "karmic" degree, because it is like the final exam. By the 29th degree we are by necessity learning any lessons of that sign that we have not yet assimilated before we can move into the next sign.
All of this is part of a major Yod to the South Node that occurs on the 21st and incorporates a conjunction of Chiron to the North Node. A Yod, or "Finger of Fate" aspect, is an event of great significance of which the Apex planet (in this case, the South Node) is the key. (I don't use the Nodes of the Moon to calculate Yods in an individual's chart, but they are useful to consider by transit.) The importance of the South Node shows that there will be an illumination of an episode from the past (South Node) that is brought into the current time period so that patterns of behavior can be alchemized into new modes of behavior and thinking that are more useful to us.
Traditional astrologers consider the South Node to be malefic, but that is because there is a tendency with the South Node to be drawn into behaviors that hold us back from our soul's evolution. When we are on a path of conscious understanding and awareness it becomes easier to let go of our attachment to the dramas that previously we considered our reality.
In many ways, the Full Moon in Scorpio is about letting go of those attachments. Scorpio has a tendency to hold on to the emotional drama and create an intense story that becomes a part of our identity. During the Full Moon the lunar instinctive energies (now in Scorpio) overcome the solar conscious mind (working with the Taurus dynamic of stability and peaceful existence). Achieving a balance between these two is the goal now as we move with the Moon from Scorpio's last degree into the more expansive climate of Sagittarius with its optimism and love of adventure.
After the culmination of the Full Moon we'll be able to assimilate all of the information downloaded during the previous week of intensity when Mercury forms a trine to Chiron on the 23rd and facilitates the healing process and the deepening into wisdom of any challenges that we faced during the cathartic Scorpio Full Moon. Because Mercury and Chiron are both moving very slowly now, this trine will be in effect for at least a week between the 21st and the end of the month during which time we'll have two more retrogrades: Mercury and Neptune, both on the 26th.

The Full Moon on May 19 (May 20 in the Eastern Hemisphere) falls at 29° Scorpio, just before the Sun leaves Taurus and enters Gemini. This is called the “anaretic degree” or “critical degree” and marks the ending of a phase. It is an opportunity to review our understanding of the lessons of the sign involved.

Scorpio has been the focal point of this last cycle from Full Moon to Full Moon, and hopefully most of us have had realizations about what we need to let go of or release to the highest good.

One of the more interesting patterns in the sky on this Full Moon is a wide fixed grand cross formed by the nodal axis, the luminaries, and the Chiron/Neptune conjunction in Aquarius. This particular pattern impacts my chart strongly and prompts me to feel the key here is to take advantage of pain to discern what needs tossing from one’s life. It’s a truism that humans change more readily when it’s too painful not to, and the conjunction of Chiron/North Node/Neptune looks very much like just the crew to do that. Aquarius provides the detachment to stand back and observe the source of the pain Chiron is pointing to, while Neptune provides the anesthetic (boy, is this going to hurt when it wears off . . .), and the North Node in Aquarius indicates the path we need to travel toward the greater good. The Scorpio Full Moon gives us the wherewithal to dig deep inside ourselves and haul what we need to review to the surface. May passing through this experience help all of us feel lighter and freer to truly be ourselves.

The next chapter following this Full Moon will unfold slowly due to Mercury’s change in direction. Perhaps the best course of action is to keep in mind Scorpio’s theme of rejuvenation and review, as Mercury retrograde is certainly a good time to continue with it. Life has been moving very quickly since the powerful New Moon in Aries, and a breather would do us all good!

and...

 
She wrote about letting go of what isn’t working for you - a painful process. With Venus squaring Neptune later on Monday, some of us will be hit over the head with the sudden recognition that we’ve been deluded by a romantic situation or perhaps by a material desire. Healing requires confronting the reality directly.