Saturn Return Can Bite Me

Taurus and Aquarius

nobody@vox.com(fullmoon) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 08:54:54 -0700

If you're born with both, what are you gonna do?

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On the fixed signs.

nobody@vox.com(fullmoon) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 10:14:05 -0700

Oooh, just found a bunch of old articles.

"The fixed dilemma involves power and a variety of sensual pleasures. In one sense, the four parts of life we call “fixed” can be thought of as a gradual relinquishment of power. In another sense, they represent a shift of direction or target in the use of the power. Taurus (and other forms of letter two) as key to our physical pleasure includes money, possessions, appetites and the aesthetic in general, whether we create beauty or just enjoy it. It symbolizes our own money, possessions and appetites, and we have the right to indulge them in our own way, on our own terms.

Leo (and other variations of letter five) represents the ego drive to use our creative power to affect other people and to get a response back from others. This may be as simple as loving and being loved. The actor on stage is applauded. The teacher holds the attention of the class. The salesman-promoter persuades others to do his will. At the physical level, Leo is the orgasm and the procreation of children. Where Taurus may be totally self-involved, Leo requires an outreach and a response from the “out there” if there is to be full satisfaction. So we may feel that Leo involves more power than Taurus; power over people rather than only material things. But the “things” are really totally subject to the will of the owner, while the Leo power has to take into account the feelings of the people, and to temper the power if a positive response is the goal.

Scorpio (and the rest of letter eight) calls for learning to share power with “equal others.” Where Leo sought a sense of superiority, and we do all need to feel pride in ourselves somewhere, and to receive some validation of our worth from others, Scorpio must learn to handle power in close peer relationships, with a mate. Your rights vs. my rights; your pleasures vs. my pleasures; your possessions vs. my possessions; how can we give and receive and share? Scorpio seeks self-knowledge through the mirror of the mate, and learns self-mastery out of respect for the rights of the mate. Where Leo power flows out, Scorpio power turns in, as is true of all fire and water respectively.

Aquarius (and the balance of letter eleven) symbolizes the relinquishment of power except for power over knowledge. The Gestalt prayer exemplifies letter eleven; no one is here to live up to another’s expectations. “If we meet, it’s beautiful; if not, it can’t be helped.” With letter eleven, we have friends, without any limits but also without any commitment—casual, superficial, accepting. It is easy to accept when you don’t have to live with someone.

When we confront the full fixed dilemma, or partial mixtures, we are seeking to integrate these different parts of life. Aquarius in conflict with either Leo or Scorpio is one obvious form of the freedom-closeness dilemma. Both Leo and Scorpio want an intense, personal commitment while Aquarius belongs to humanity, or to the pursuit of knowledge, or just can’t stand limits. Leo needs to feel superior; Aquarius demands equality. Leo and Scorpio are emotional; Aquarius values the detached intellect. Taurus just wants to be comfortable, and can become passive-aggressive when jarred from its rut by Leo’s need to do something big or the Aquarius drive to go beyond the previous limits and try something new. The Taurus-Scorpio opposition can mean a variety of outer struggles over whose possessions or pleasures are being slighted; or it can be an inner struggle between appetite indulgence and appetite mastery, swinging from excess to asceticism; (eating vs. dieting, ambivalence over drinking, smoking, sex, spending vs. saving, etc.). The Leo-Scorpio confrontations are the most intense, and can lead to the most violent power struggles, as we seek appropriate ways to manifest outward power and stay alert to when we need to turn our power inward. In general, fire-water conflicts are the hardest to handle since they are the emotional elements and have trouble being rational, objective or practical about the situation.

Remember that putting the Sun in any fixed sign other than Leo, or in the 2nd, 8th or 11th house, makes it a part of the fixed dilemma. Pluto in Leo is a part of the fixed dilemma, as is Uranus in Taurus, Leo or Scorpio, and the respective house positions carry the same meaning. Remember also that the keynote of the “fixed” quality does not mean unchanging (Leo and Aquarius are both highly creative and leaders in moving the world) but rather “enduring self-will.” Fixed planets, signs and houses do change, but only on their own terms. No one else is allowed to push them into changing. So when we have a fixed dilemma within a chart, we have a beautiful potential for a stalemate or impasse. In my book Finding the Person in the Horoscope, I described the fixed quality as a combination grindstone and volcano. The irresistible force and the immovable object grind until the pressure builds to an explosion, but when the dust clears, the same old impasse is likely to be still there. In one sense, this makes a resolution of the problem harder, but in another sense, the individual often just learns to live with the situation, and the life in general is less disrupted than in people where the cardinal dilemma is the paramount one. It is the charts where there is a mixture of cardinal and fixed that mark the real power struggles with the world."

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Can you garden?

nobody@vox.com(fullmoon) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 08:26:39 -0700

Mystic Medusa takes a poll. I'm a Taurus who CANNOT garden. I'm just happy I've kept one plant alive in my life.

I usually tell people that you will fit MOST of the stereotypes about your sun sign, but there will be a few where you outright don't, and that's one of them. (Also cooking, which I might have liked had I not been yelled at in the kitchen so much by my Virgo rising mother, and jealousy, which I've never understood.)

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Yay Taurus

nobody@vox.com(fullmoon) — Tue, 12 May 2009 12:03:13 -0700

Katharine Hepburn.

Haute Cow and Low Cow.

Sweet reliable earth spirits.

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Growing Up Taurus

nobody@vox.com(fullmoon) — Fri, 08 May 2009 07:17:38 -0700

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I wish I'd spotted this earlier

nobody@vox.com(fullmoon) — Fri, 01 May 2009 08:48:06 -0700

Cool discussion of Taurus New Moon and spending.

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Astro-Barry and prophetic urges

nobody@vox.com(fullmoon) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 11:51:17 -0700

Doing a little catch-up on reading his overall weekly chats. There will be tons of whining within.

Sneak previews:

As I've observed how this Venus retrograde is hitting the charts of my clients, I've been letting them know they're presently getting a sneak preview of what's coming down the pipeline in 2010 and beyond.

Venus's retrograde through Aries carries her over the same steps that both Uranus and Jupiter, in conjunction with one another, will soon be following.

And you can't find a more potent astro-symbol of hot, fast, sudden and abrupt change than a Jupiter-Uranus conjunction in Aries, headed our way next year.

Those most impetuous impulses you've recently experienced, then, tempting you toward some wild-and-crazy entrée into a new world (new job! new relationship! new place to live! a whole new life!) aren't entirely without merit. They point to a hot-button issue that will, over the next year or two, increasingly compel you to take a gutsy risk—one that affirms you're spunky and spirited enough to choose your own freedom—regardless of whatever other collateral disarray your personal uprising will leave in its wake.

Hell-bent on 'holding it together'? Committed to preserving the status-quo? This Jupiter/Uranus-in-Aries energy is not one to mess around with. It'll take out an entire city block, if that's what's required to shake you out of complacency and liberate your spirit. Between now and 2011, you will change that dramatically. We all will. If you don't spread your wings and fly away from the nest, then the almighty hand of some secretly benevolent force will push you out. Which way will you have it?

And this is where I'm ah...metaphorically losing it entirely. (I just restrained myself from using a bodily function example. Why be that gross?)

I am having the urge to find a more artistic job. I've been doing my current one for six years or so now and I like about everything there BUT what I do on a daily basis any more, which has gotten more rote and less fun.

Problem being, it's not like I'm going to get hired to do crafts or write any more. My former industry is flushing down the toilet, as are all writing jobs as far as I can tell, which is why when I got booted out in the last recession, I switched to doing something more stable. Of course, I live in one of the more budgetarily fucked states to boot (then again, the only state I hear that wants to hire people any more is North Dakota, and uh...no.) That sort of thing doesn't exist as a stable job with health insurance either. I volunteer at the lone artistic place I know of with insurance, but very few people get paying positions there (I am actually not legally allowed to be paid by them and I do two jobs there!), and I'm not qualified for any of the two paying jobs that exist there now.

And that's pretty much my sticking point. Nasty health conditions run in my family and I am butt-terrified of getting diagnosed with one someday and not having insurance. Yeah, sure, I could get away with getting some individually now, but that won't last forever.

I keep coming back to the same problem: If I want to work in something more artistic, I'm going to HAVE TO, NO EFFING CHOICE ABOUT IT, be an entrepreneur. There is no option for stability and safety out there WITH artistic fun, short of marrying for money (and despite my Jupiter in the 8th house, I don't think I'm going to be managing that). And with all my heart and soul, I don't WANT to be the one financially in charge. I've made attempts at starting my own business for years and my heart is not in the business end. It kills the fun entirely for me and even when I made money, I didn't enjoy it and felt crappy about it. And if you have your own business, no "must take you" insurance for you, baby.

I cannot see any way around the have to's of this, because our world doesn't work in any other way. And I am PRACTICAL (Taurus), and I can't just be all airy-fairy pie in the sky "follow your dreams like a scampering puppy" here.

And given the timing of this, it's just really, REALLY bad to not be able to come up with any kind of practical anything. The only talents I have in the world are not in the slightest bit valued, are "frills," and are the first thing to get booted in a "everyone hunker down and sit in the dark so as not to pay the electric bill" world. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.

I would much rather hold at status quo. That was my life plan after getting booted from the "dream" job. Well, I should say that that was my plan (such as it is 'cause I can't really make plans) before I got the "dream" job as a fluke, and I pretty much planned all along to endure at a day job and then use the money to do my own thing on my own time.

I am pretty pissed knowing that in a year or two or three (at the very least in 2013, transiting Uranus hits my sixth house around my birthday. Gee, THANKS) I will be forcibly booted out.

I mean, I guess it's better than getting booted right here and now. I have maybe a year or more to plan ahead. I just...can't come up with a plan! Nothing works on a practical level for this! I keep reading entrepreneur blogs and I truly do not get how they can think like this and somehow make money.

We're not at that peak moment yet, alas. Eternally grateful as we are to astrology for its ever-present heads-ups, we see we have a good year or so before such choices will be made for us, should we refrain from making them ourselves. In this interim, blessedly, await countless chances to pick the option that'll leave you feeling pumped up, energized and 110% alive over the other safer possibilities. The more audaciously you base your decisions on that spark of what is personally true for you (though it may baffle those around you who don't understand), the less pressure from having ignored your inner insight will have built up inside you…and the less likely your 2010-11 version of 'hot, fast, sudden and abrupt change' will destructively blindside you.

The temptation to bust out and embrace impulsivity, which is currently being dangled in front of you by Venus retrograde, may be enough to kick-start the bolder among us on this voyage to fresher pastures. Including both the pre- and post-retrograde shadows, this period from February through May 2009 is dripping with circumstances to suit our personal whims on the spur of the moment…and if we grab those shots when they appear, launching a cascade of one snap decision fueling the next, we're carried off into that 'whole new life' before we get the chance to determine what's hit us, and away we go!

You are right to be scratching your head, of course, since Venus retrograde supposedly confuses our ability to discern 'golden goose' from 'fleeting folly'. If we opt for the impulsive now, aren't we gambling with the possibility that what we so heatedly desire is, in fact, not what we imagine it to be…and that, in the end, we'll be disappointed?

No question about it: Yes, it's a gamble. There are no guarantees as to what's behind the mystery door—only the knowledge that, if you do indeed feel moved to open it but are simply too fearful to let yourself proceed, you'll always wonder what was there.

And if instead you go for it, only to find you just sold your farm for a handful of beans, all hope needn't be lost. Maybe they're magic beans, which you never would've wound up with if you hadn't taken the initial step. Maybe they'll grow into a giant beanstalk you can climb up, carrying you to the next mystery you'll encounter. Or maybe, in the momentary sorrow following your immediate disappointment, you'll come across someone compassionate to your plight…and the two of you will fall madly in love. Who could know in advance? There's only one way to find out: by doing.

This current phase confronts us with both the pros and cons of making split-second, impulse-driven decisions to suit our own self-directed preferences. In an instant, we can turn left instead of right and alter the whole destiny of our existence. That weightiness is sometimes sufficient to paralyze us, in worry that we haven't properly analyzed the relative benefits of the leftward and rightward avenues. Yet, no matter our careful analyses, we still can't know what's behind the next curve—even if we have a detailed map, we cannot account for adverse weather conditions or other acts of fate.

How bravely we're willing to march on now, when we aren't sure where each additional step is carrying us, will only assist us in treading the ever-more-unfamiliar ground that lies ahead. By mid-2010, when both Jupiter and Uranus converge in Aries—in opposition to Saturn and in square to Pluto—we'll encounter a similar-but-more-dramatic need to proceed against a backdrop of truly foreign terrain. In such settings, our in-the-moment instincts are all we've got.

I feel sick. I do not know how to balance the Saturnian practicality with the Uranian ZANY GO FOR IT SCREW PLANNING-itis. I don't even HAVE Virgo or Pisces and I feel the dilemma.

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The freedom vs. couplehood debate, yet again

nobody@vox.com(fullmoon) — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 11:03:57 -0800

Elsa attempts a consultation on a really hard problem. Freedom vs. commitment again...

I have quite the history of getting into a relationship, things going well for a while, then I become somewhat bored and eventually become intrigued by someone new. I guess the boredom sort of builds up and then the new interest happens very quickly, catching my partner totally off guard.I used to have problems with cheating - now I just break up really quickly with the first person so I can be with the second w/o technically cheating.I know I have strong tendencies towards interest in the new and different romantically, but the problem is I also find great pleasure in the stability and comfort of having a steady partnership. The in between thing hasn’t worked either - greater distance, not seeing each other as much, just makes me dissatisfied at the lack of intense and regular interaction and wanting to find something more substantial. I seem to want intense depth and yet novelty as well, or something like that. I don’t know if it’s a matter of not meeting someone compatible enough, or if I’d do this no matter what, always wanting something more/different - likely the latter, I think.
On the Venus in Aqu./Uranus front, I agree that I will always have these tendencies for sudden attractions and it can be instead about whether or not to act on them - however, it also can (& does) mean a simultaneous sudden turning off of my feelings towards the current partner. It’s pretty much textbook Venus/Uranus. I don’t know what to do with that at all. It’s like something besides my personal will decides that it’s just time for this relationship to be over…and even if I want otherwise, my feelings are gone. Not my feelings towards them as a friend, but romantic ones.

And she doesn't want to do polyamory at all, which really screws the pooch here, I think. (Really, I have some of the aspects she cites as meaning "I want all the attention!" and "Mine!", she has more Jupiter/Sadge than I do, and I could handle it.) But you can't deal with someone who is absolutely no on the idea, so never mind.

First, the level of freedom you want and need and require is off the charts just with the stellium in Sagittarius alone. The Saturn trine suggests you have the capacity to reign this in but I am not sure this (restriction) is what would make you happiest. Taking responsibility for your Wild Horse-ness is probably a better tack.
So to apply this knowledge you can look at the fact that you will cheat but you won’t tolerate an open relationship where the other person can “cheat” and that’s a vivid manifestation of the inflation right there.
I think you can have both these things to an extent. The problem for you is the word, “extent”. With a chart like this you just don’t want to suffer any restriction or tie down of any kind. In short you want it all which is just not available to any of us for any length of time.
We don’t really know what would happen if you can contain your impulse to split because you have never experimented with this. Franky, I’d say that you have lacked the maturity but the Saturn transit is here to fix that. You’ve been humbled now (by despair) so you are ready to try something new.
I don’t think you will ever get rid of your freedom urges but you can come to realize that acting on them brings you pain. You could compare this to alcoholism or even my love of ice cream. I will always like ice cream but if I eat it, I am going to crash. So what you become here, is the hero in your own story. The person who had a fatal flaw but opted out.

I attempted to post comments, but that seems to be having issues. So here's my thoughts:

(a) She rules out polyamory, but one option would be to find a partner who wants to be monogamous to her, but is okay with her dating others. I know of a few folks in real life who are like this and they are probably hard to find, but it could happen. It sounds like her problem is that she won't share, but if she finds a guy who doesn't want to worry about juggling girlfriends, or wants a happy girlfriend who won't dump him when her attention span goes, or is secure enough to not worry about this stuff too much, he could be guy #1 and then she could rotate in her other guys.

This, however, does not really account for her lack of interest in guy #1 as soon as guy #2 comes about, though. I would not argue with Elsa about trying to stick with guy #1 and not immediately hop to guy #2 for a change and see if she can handle it, but if that doesn't work, maybe she should just...

(b) Accept that she is only going to have short-term partnerships. Jupiter on the descendant means she will have tons and tons of prospects and luck in finding them over the years. Maybe what she needs to do is warn the guys up front that she's only gonna be in the relationship for a short period of time and that's all she can handle. And date guys who feel similarly. Because god knows you won't run out of those people :P This doesn't really account for getting older and wanting to "settle down," but that's probably where "just pick a guy and stick with him and don't leave when your brain has moved on" would come in anyway.

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An amusing peek at a chart

nobody@vox.com(fullmoon) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 22:56:35 -0800

So, I got to meet a local celebrity from my hometown the other day. It was great fun- he's known for having the blingiest house at Christmas you have ever seen, and I got to tour the house. Huzzah!

So as I'm reading his website later, he happened to mention his birthday (the day before mine! Wow, I know a lot of April 23rd birthdays), AND the place of birth and time!

Yeah, I had to look.

He's a double Taurus (shopping, shopping), with a Sag moon (like me, hah), and URANUS RISING! That just cracked me up big time. He's in a very hierarchical profession/religion, but has the big ol' Sign of the Weirdo right front and center. With a north node in Leo (flashy!) in the fourth house...yes, he has a flashy house. (Interestingly enough, Chiron is conjunct the NN. I wonder what that means to him to do a flashy house with that aspect.) He's also a Venus Saturn person...a Catholic deacon sworn to celibacy.

Amusingly enough, my mother told him the next day that I'd seen we had nearby birthdays and he was all, "Taurus! Stubborn, likes to shop..." Believe me, if you've seen his house, you KNOW that. He must be really fun to go shopping with. Huh, I should meet the man more often. :)

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This gave me a laugh

nobody@vox.com(fullmoon) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:45:22 -0700

Found over here:

Those of us with our Sun in the 2nd or in Taurus (or our ASC in Taurus ) have a good thing going. The asto community has set the bar pretty low for us. We're evolved as long as we don't spend ALL of our free time engaging in threesomes with a hottie and hot fried chicken, atop a cash-filled mattress.

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